4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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