I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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