She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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