it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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