Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
