Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
