This is not my ceiling
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He? As in you personified your dick?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
