Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My liver is preforming stress tests.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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