Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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