i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
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You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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