Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
