i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
