How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
