Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Houston, we have a blender
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
