oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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