we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
