Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
