my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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