I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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