i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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