but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
