I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
