ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
