i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
