Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize