we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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