he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
