he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
