In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
