Can i not drive my cunt home
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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