God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
