I puked a lego.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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