VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I puked a lego.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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