um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize