Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
