i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
