You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
