can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
