Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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