i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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