I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
