We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
