i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
