Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
