please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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