I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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