I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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