I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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