Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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