did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
