How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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