everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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