Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
