Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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