It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
