Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i think my cat just said my name.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I know her cup size but not her name....