I think I am morally bankrupt
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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